The Girl In Gold Boots (Experiment #1002)

Plot Summary: A guy named Buzz walking into a diner with the intention to rob it, but he is distracted by the vaguely rhythmic gyrations of the waitress Michelle. A guy named Critter (Yes, Critter. For the love of God, they named a character CRITTER.) comes into the diner, buys some candy bars, and leaves. Then Buzz cons Michelle into coming to LA with him to meet his sister who could make her a star dancer. She takes him up on the offer and flees her alcoholic fry-cook dad for the bright lights of the big city.

Along the way, the pick up Critter and his busted motorcycle, have a run-in with two of the wussiest bikers you've ever seen, and participate in a non-sequiter dune buggy sequence.

In LA (or Hollywood - they seem to use the terms interchangeably) they go to a club called The Haunted House, a gogo/strip/dance club run by two extremely greasy and unattractive men. Joanie (Buzz's sister) gets Michelle a job as a dancer, and we see the seamy underside of the club scene - drugs, bad dancing, and a murder that takes place while Buzz and a guy named Harry Blatz actually break INTO jail to steal some drugs. Eventually, Critter calls the cops, joins the army and marries Michelle. Seem like a bunch of random things that happened in the same movie? I thought so too...

Notable Notes:

• Pearl is trying to get board certification from the Institute of Mad Scientists. Her application almost fails until the reviewer sees brain guy dancing about in one of the the skimpy solid-goldesque costumes from the movie (yeek!)
• There is also a great sequence where Crow is (as Mike put it) "Shaking all his various things." All you see are Crow's legs, but it is hilarious.
• Near the end of the movie, there's a great sight gag when Mike pulls a pool cue from under his seat and starts playing with the pool table in the foreground of the movie.
• This film also has one of the worst edited sequences I've ever seen. A character literally just materializes from thin air in the middle of a conversation. Continuity anyone?....