Girls Town (Experiment #601)

Plot: "Girls Town" starts out with the "not-Kitten" sister from "Father Knows Best" accidently shoving an over-ardous suitor over a cliff. Nearby, Mel Torme and his paper-thin date witness the whole thing and Mel gets a grinchy idea: blackmail. But, Mel doesn't know that Not-Kitten has borrowed her sister Silver's (Mamie VanDoren) headkerchief and lipstick for her ill-fated date. Since Silver's lipstick is found in the cliffdiver's car (good policework here), she is promptly sent to Girls Town, a refuge for wayward, white, non-pregnant, Catholic girls, pending further investigation. Silver rooms with Sarafina, a delusional who's obessesed with a VERY young Paul Anka and two tai-chi wielding Romulans. Silver also contends with a slang-savy, he-male detective hired by the cliffdiver's father to "pump" her for information. Be sure to catch the great performance by the musical group the Platters. They're hands-down the best thing in the movie.

Anyway, while stuffing his already-puffy face with french fries at the local drive-in, Mel figures out that it was Not-Kitten who pushed the guy off the cliff. After kidnapping the girl and forcing her to ride shot-gun in a drag race (you got me!!!!!), Mel decides to cut his losses and sell her into the Mexican slave trade. Nice guy. Not-Kitten escapes, races to Girls Town, and spills her guts to her sister, Silver. She is promptly re-kidnapped (patience, gentle-viewer…) by Mel and his gang. Silver and the Romulans track Mel to his sleazy beachhouse and a melee ensues. With a bat at his throat, held by Mr. Anka, Mel decides he'd rather testify in Not-Kitten's defense than rot in jail for kidnapping. The End.

Notable Notes: This episode introduces the "Umbilicus" that linked Mike and the Bots to the "Mad Poopies."

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