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The Sad State of Fortune CookiesI'm not sure if anyone else has even noticed this, but in my opinion, fortune cookies have been slowly sliding downhill. It used to be that after your meal of moo goo gai pan you would be treated to the prophetic words of a mystery sage from the orient. Much like the oracles of yore, the fortune cookie would reveal your shadowy future -- and provide a crispy snack as well.
First, we have the old-school fortune cookie. It actually fortells the future. I'm glad to know that I will soon inherit a large sum of money! Next, we have an advice cookie, telling me to be cautious around people. If I want advice, I ask my wife, or call my parents. I have done some investigation, and I have it on good authority that they did not bake these cookies. Lastly, we have an example of a very ambiguous cookie. "You may be conservative, cautious, and practical." Is the cookie giving me permission to be these things? Is the cookie chef attempting to make a remote psychological diagnosis of me, saying that I might be like this? If the latter is true, I think that doctors and nurses should give out these cookies as well, with things on them like "You might have bursitis" or "You may want to lay off the beer for a while, your liver is unhappy with you"
In short, give me back the fortune cookies of my youth!!!!
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However, a new breed of fortune cookies has arisen. The problem??? THEY OFTEN DON'T HAVE FORTUNES!!! Pictured at right are a few examples of what I mean, direct from the Mayflower Chinese Restaurant in Green Bay, WI.