Week 26 Newsletter

October 5, 2009

Vol. 25, No. 26
Season Week No. 26
October 5, 2009

PHONY LEAGUE BASEBALL
popculture.incompetech.com/baseball/
Newsletter Editor: Mark S Zimmer

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Welcome to that dreary half-year otherwise known as the Off-Season of the Phony League. But first:

Wow….just, wow. Quite the photo finish this year. It’s really a good thing to see competition right down to the wire, with a lot of teams still at least technically in it up until two weeks before the finale. And how about the perennial cellar dwellers, the Instigators, taking the Ugliest Trophy in the World® home? Who woulda thunk it? Were I a betting man, I would have put my money on the Carp this year when the season started….but it just never really came together, somehow.

Not a lot of response to my questionnaire last week…though I did get this notably curious answer:
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Hello, earthling. Your signal has arrived at the outer reaches of the galaxy. If you were seeking signs of intelligent life in the universe, sorry, we do not qualify. But if you were conducting a listener/viewer survey, please know that the residents of Fantasmagoria are hearing and reading you. We anticipate your periodic missives with interest and wonder.

Do not fret. We are listening.

Two questions:

• why is a higher number good for OPA, but bad for ERA?
• is OOBA a device for producing musical sound?
Hoping to learn more of your folkways, respectfully,
The Fantasmagoria Radio Club
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Ummmm. Thanks. I think.

And now, a few words from our Commissioner:

POSTSEASON MEETING: Please be checking your e-mails for a message in the next few days about the postseason meeting.

LONG TERM CONTRACT BUYOUTS:
Teams owe the following amounts for buying out long term contracts in 2009:
BOVINE SOCKS: $3.50 (Jeremy Guthrie, 2.00; and A.J. Burnett, 1.50).
CARP: $4.60 (Michael Cuddyer, 2.60; and Jeremy Bonderman, 2.00)
FOXES: $11.00 (Nick Swisher, 6.80; JJ Hardy, 3.00; and Jonathan Papelbon, 1.20).
GHOST RIDERS: $.90 (Howie Kendrick, .90).
HAM FIGHTERS: $2.60 (Delmon Young, 2.60)
INSTIGATORS: $1.10 (Justin Morneau, 1.10).
TRADEWINDS: $3.10 (Mark Teahen, 2.00; and Chien-Ming Wang, 1.10).

THE PRIZE POOL of $126.80 is divided as follows for the top four teams:
1 – INSTIGATORS - $63.40
2 – FOXES - $31.70
3 – TRADEWINDS - $19.02
4 – GHOST RIDERS - $12.68

Dave Ohm will receive $12 for taking care of substitutions and roster changes for three teams.
Mark Zimmer will receive $20 for preparing the newsletter and rosters.
Rich Bolton will receive $20 for taking care of substitutions and roster changes for seven teams.
Warren Weinstein will receive $20 for handling player claims.
Steve Kleinmaier receives $28 for preparing the standings and for performing other commissioner duties. Of that amount, $10 is used to pay for the engraving of the league trophy.

Okay, on to the juicy stuff. Who is the Final Player of the Week for this illustrious season?

PLAYER OF THE WEEK NOMINATIONS:
Team………. Player……………….. BA.. OP….. OA.. Special Achievement
Carp……….. Ryan Braun…………. .393. 39…… 1.393. 3 SB, 2 HR
Instigators…. Jason Kubel………… .423. 39…… 1.500. 3 HR
Bovine Sox... Ben Zobrist…………. .478. 37….. 1.609.
Kiwis………. Prince Fielder………. .367. 36…… 1.636. 3 HR


Team………. Pitcher………………. ERA OOBA. PP.. Special Achievement
Foxes……… Felix Hernandez……. 2.51. 1.19… 13.2... 2 Wins
Bovine Sox AJ Burnett………….. 1.59. 1.24… 8.7

The Player of the Week is none other than Jason Kubel, who contributed inestimably to the Instigators’ squeaker victory. Hear that, Fantasmagoria? The Jason Kubel that I unceremoniously dumped some time ago with two bad knees? Led them to a pennant. Of course he did. Ai yi yi.

Player of the Week on the Bench is the Trade Winds’ own Delmon Young, with a league-leading 40 OP, .448 BA, 13 hits and 3 HR. Asleep at the switch, riding the pine, taking a dirt nap. Well, taking a nap, anyway.

Presumably you saw the posting from the Commissioner about the number of free agent moves by team; once you remove the outliers of the BoSox and the Scapegoats at each end, there’s a pretty clear correlation between the number of moves and the final standings. Probably that’s nothing more than people who finish high also tend to pay more attention to their team (and vice versa is probably true too), but there were definitely opportunities to significantly better your team for this year and next nearly all year long on the waiver wire. So, the message simply is: pay attention, kids. The life you save may be your own.

TRANSACTIONS:
September 30:
FOXES acquire the following free agents:
Adrian Gonzalez releasing Jonathon Papelbon
Josh Johnson releasing Jason Frasor
Javier Vazquez releasing Ian Snell
Jose Valverde releasing Jim Johnson
Miguel Tejada releasing Freddy Garcia

BOVINE SOCKS acquire the following free agents
Tim Hudson releasing A.J. Burnett
Sean Marcum releasing Dave Bush
Manny Ramirez releasing Melky Cabrera
Mark DeRosa releasing Cliff Pennington
Rafael Soriano releasing Brandon McCarthy

October 4:
GHOST RIDERS acquire free agents Randy Wolf, Joel Pineiro and Adam LaRoche releasing Howie Kendrick, Josh Hamilton and Magglio Ordonez.

Players released in this newsletter cannot be claimed on waivers or as free agents. You will have to wait until the auction next spring to get the players. On the other hand, you are now free to make trades till the roster protection deadline next March.

Announcements of all free agent and waiver acquisitions are subject to change if a late arriving letter or postcard is received from a team with a superior claim.

See you next season!

Questions? E-mail Steve