Week 5 Newsletter

May 12, 2009

PHONY LEAGUE BASEBALL NEWSLETTER

Vol. 25, No. 5
Season Week No. 5
May 12, 2009

PHONY LEAGUE BASEBALL
popculture.incompetech.com/baseball/

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Sometimes I wonder why I bother. The Scapegoats are back, tied for first place. That would be the Scapegoats who have had two of the first four Players of the Week on the Bench, that have made no free agent or waiver claims, and have yet to make a single substitution. Maybe autopilot is the way to go. We’ll see…. And of course, the Instigators are the ones they’re tied with, although they have actually made some roster moves this year (probably more than they have in the last five years put together).

At the other end of the standings, the poor get poorer, as the Ghost Riders suffered through one of their worst days ever, hitting 1 for 27 while giving up 9 ER in the space of 7 IP. To add insult to injury, Dan Wheeler’s vulture win was taken away from him and given to Brian Shouse. Ugh. Even Greinke got a loss (1-0, but still a loss). Let’s see who was actually decent this week, shall we?


PLAYER OF THE WEEK NOMINATIONS:
Team………. Player……………….. BA.. OP….. OA.. Special Achievement
Bovine Sox... Johnny Damon…….. .462. 46…… 1.769. 4 HR
Carp……….. Ryan Braun………… .435. 40…… 1.739. 3 HR
Instigators…. Carl Crawford………. .444. 38…… 1.407
Mastodons… Evan Longoria……… .348. 37…… 1.609. 3 HR
Foxes……… Joe Mauer………….. .500. 31…… 1.722.

Team………. Pitcher………………. ERA OOBA. PP.. Special Achievement
Rick Porcello Instigators…………... 0.75. 1.17… 12….. 2 Wins


Despite all those big names on the batting side of the ledger, the Player of the Week is the Instigators’ Rick Porcello. Looking good.

The Player of the Week on the Bench is the unowned and unloved Matt Harrison, pitching a complete game four-hit shutout. Tsk tsk. Of course, that just barely got his ERA down under 5.00….

In transactions, we see the Ghost Riders for some reason haphazardly reassembling its farm system of 2007, with fixtures Nolan Reimold and Luke Hochevar suddenly acting as if they might have some value. Of course, now that they’re back on my roster they will stop cold and return to their usual rubbish status.

TRANSACTIONS:

May 6:
GHOST RIDERS acquire free agent Nolan Reimold releasing Alexi Casilla.
BOVINE SOCKS acquire free agent Sean Gallagher releasing Mark Melancon.

May 7:
TRADE WINDS acquire free agents Miguel Olivo and Matt Tolbert releasing Kyle Davies and Brett Gardner.
FOXES acquire free agent Brian Bannister releasing Brandon McCarthy.

May 10:
HAM FIGHTERS acquire free agent Bobby Crosby releasing Scott Lewis.

May 11:
BOVINE SOCKS acquire free agent Brett Cecil releasing Denys Baez.

May 12:
FOXES acquire free agent Daniel Bard releasing Jose Arredondo.
GHOST RIDERS acquire free agent Luke Hochevar releasing Fausto Carmona
MASTODONS acquire Julio Lugo on waivers releasing Miguel Batista.
TRADE WINDS acquire David DeJesus on waivers releasing Travis Hafner

The last day to postmark or deliver a waiver claim for the players released in this newsletter is Monday, May 18, 2009. If a claim for one or more of those players is postmarked or delivered on or before that date and does not specify whether it is a waiver claim or a free agent claim, it will be considered a waiver claim. Announcements of all free agent and waiver acquisitions are subject to change if a late arriving letter or postcard is received from a team with a superior claim.

REMINDER ABOUT FREE AGENT CLAIMS: When claiming a free agent, you must specify whether the player being released is in the lineup or not. The status of the released player is the status on the day before the claim goes into effect, which means in most cases it is the status on the day you send the claim. If the released player is not in the lineup on the day you send the claim, you can just note NIL, which, of course, means not in lineup. If the released player is in your lineup on the day you send the claim, you must report who will replace that player in your lineup. I do not care if you already reported a sub to your “checker.” You must also report the sub in the free agent claim. If it makes it easier to understand, when you make the claim just forget that you have a “checker” for your lineup and pretend that all your substitutions are reported to the person receiving the player claim. Then, report the substitution in the free agent claim.


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