Week 1 Newsletter

April 14, 2009

Vol. 25, No. 1
Season Week No. 1
April 14, 2009

PHONY LEAGUE BASEBALL
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Welcome to the 25th Phony League season opening newsletter, and welcome to the newest Phony Potentate, Patrick Riopelle of the Scapegoats.

It’s been a wild and woolly first week, unfortunately starting out with tragedy in the Carp farm system thanks to a drunken idiot. I saw Nick Adenhart pitching in spring training and he definitely looked like he was going to be a good one. It’s a big loss for baseball real and phony. RIP.

Turning our attentions to the standings…..ah, I see. At the end of the first week, once again, the rest of us are being beaten by a girl.

If that doesn’t get the competitive juices flowing, I don’t know what will.

Lots of power showing up in unexpected places and a lot of studs blowing up in our faces…. Let’s see who looked good.

PLAYER OF THE WEEK NOMINATIONS:
Team………. Player……………….. BA.. OP….. OA.. Special Achievement
Mastodons… Evan Longoria……… .467. 54…… 1.800. 5 HR, 14 Hits
Ghost Riders Miguel Cabrera…….. .467. 46…… 1.533. 3 HR, 14 Hits
Ghost Riders Adam Lind………….. .400. 45…… 1.286. 3 HR, 14 Hits
Trade Winds Kevin Youkilis………. .519. 43…… 1.593. 2 HR, 14 Hits

Team………. Pitcher………………. ERA OOBA. PP.. Special Achievement
HamFighters Roy Halladay……….. 3.86. 1.00…. 13.0... 2 Wins
Carp……….. Scott Kazmir………... 2.84. 1.11…. 12.3... 2 Wins
Kiwis……….. Kevin Millwood……... 0.64. 0.74…. 10.0...

The Player of the Week is Evan Longoria. Hard to argue with five dingers, though Kevin Millwood does his best, especially since he was pitching in Arlington. Maybe he’s finally healthy?

The inaugural Player of the Week on the Bench, alas, falls to the new Potentate of the Scapegoats, with poor Brandon Inge, qualified at catcher, riding the pine with his 39 OP and 4 HR.

TRANSACTIONS:

April 14:
KIWIS acquire Jerrod Washburn releasing Jason Hammel
KIWIS acquire Endy Chavez releasing Matt Joyce.
BOVINE SOX acquire Ryan Perry releasing Clayton Richard.

The last day to postmark or deliver a waiver claim for the players released in this newsletter is Monday, April 20, 2009. If a claim for one or more of those players is postmarked or delivered on or before that date and does not specify whether it is a waiver claim or a free agent claim, it will be considered a waiver claim. Announcements of all free agent and waiver acquisitions are subject to change if a late arriving letter or postcard is received from a team with a superior claim.

REMINDER ABOUT FREE AGENT CLAIMS: When claiming a free agent, you must specify whether the player being released is in the lineup or not. The status of the released player is the status on the day before the claim goes into effect, which means in most cases it is the status on the day you send the claim. If the released player is not in the lineup on the day you send the claim, you can just note NIL, which, of course, means not in lineup. If the released player is in your lineup on the day you send the claim, you must report who will replace that player in your lineup. I do not care if you already reported a sub to your “checker.” You must also report the sub in the free agent claim. If it makes it easier to understand, when you make the claim just forget that you have a “checker” for your lineup and pretend that all your substitutions are reported to the person receiving the player claim. Then, report the substitution in the free agent claim.

Oh, and pay your taxes.

Questions? E-mail Steve