Week 26 Newsletter

October 1, 2008

PHONY LEAGUE BASEBALL NEWSLETTER

Vol. 24, No. 26
Season Week No. 26
September 30, 2008

PHONY LEAGUE BASEBALL
popculture.incompetech.com/baseball/

Editor: Mark S Zimmer
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Well, that’s not something you see every day. The Foxes were in first place exactly once during this 2008 season. Their timing, however, was exquisite, since it happened to be the one week that actually counts. Congratulations once again to the Foxes for one of the most amazing finishes in Phony League history; they were mired in seventh place as late as Week 18, coming on strong week after week while the Ghost Riders and Bovine Socks duked it out in what would ultimately become a futile exercise. Well done!

HOW I LOST THE PHONY LEAGUE: The Ghost Riders management will have plenty of recriminations (benching Miguel Cabrera in a fit of pique, only to miss 3 HR as a result, being a highlight), but it was two main problems that did them in: injuries to the pitching staff and underperforming batters. Justin Duchscherer was great when healthy, but he was hurt nearly half the season; Fausto Carmona missed a bunch of time and was never the same when he came back, but the worst blow was John Lackey’s final start, which pretty much drove a stake through the team’s fading hopes. Overpaying for underperforming batters like Miguel Cabrera didn’t help; although Cabrera’s final totals look fine, he was incredibly streaky and downright godawful for long stretches of the season. But as noted, he would perform when benched. Probably my biggest mistake was turning down the Foxes’ trade offer of JJ Hardy for Fausto Carmona; as it turned out Hardy wasn’t traded away and hit like a madman, while Fausto ended up pitching through pain, poorly. Of course, if I had done the trade Fausto would be winning the Cy Young and Hardy would have a career-ending injury, so you can’t second-guess it too much. It was darned exciting to still be in it in the last week, but the team just fell apart completely at the seams during week 26. It wasn’t the erratic final week at-bats, which I feared, but the fact I was getting consistently crappy at-bats. The one bright spot in the last week, as he was all season, was Josh Hamilton, who was certainly the team MVP, and about the only good move I made in the auction, in retrospect. Really, as I was looking over the teams doing the newsletter week after week, I started to wonder exactly how this misbegotten accumulation of detritus was in contention at all.

E-mail me your story of How I Lost (or in Steve’s case, How I Won) and I will do a Post-Season Supplemental Newsletter.

Time to start planning the next Phony League season, though it’ll be hard to top this one. So mark your calendars now: 2009 AUCTION DATE: The auction date next spring is scheduled for April 5, 2009.

POSTSEASON MEETING: Please be checking your e-mails for a message from the Commissioner in the next few days about the postseason meeting.

LONG TERM CONTRACT BUYOUTS:
Teams owe the following amounts for buying out long term contracts in 2008:
BOVINE SOCKS: $7.40 (Rich Harden, 1.80; Adrian Beltre, 2.00; Julio Lugo, 2.60; and Bobby Jenks, 1.00).
FOXES: $2.80 (Joe Crede, 2.80).
GHOST RIDERS: $2.00 (Adrian Beltre, 2.00).
INSTIGATORS: $1.60 (Brandon Inge, 1.60).
KIWIS: $6.80 (Mark Teahen, 4.00; and Nate Robertson, 2.80).
MASTODONS: $4.80 (Jose Lopez, 2.20; B.J. Ryan, 1.10; and Torii Hunter, 1.50).
TRADEWINDS: $2.60 (Julio Lugo, 2.60).

THE PRIZE POOL of $128 is divided as follows for the top four teams:
1 – FOXES - $64.00
2 – BOVINES SOCKS - $32.00
3 – GHOST RIDERS - $19.20
4 – CARP - $12.80

Dave Ohm will receive $12 for taking care of substitutions and roster changes for three teams.
Mark will receive $20 for preparing the newsletter and rosters.
Rich Bolton will receive $20 for taking care of substitutions and roster changes for seven teams.
Warren Weinstein will receive $20 for handling player claims.
Steve Kleinmaier receives $28 for preparing the standings and for performing other commissioner duties. Of that amount, $10 is used to pay for the engraving of the incredibly gaudy league trophy.

PLAYER OF THE WEEK NOMINATIONS:
Team………. Player……………….. BA.. OP….. OA.. Special Achievement
Mastodons.. Mike Aviles…………. .429. 30…… 1.429.
Bovine Sox... Hank Blalock……….. .350. 30…… 1.500. 3 HR
Foxes……… Nelson Cruz………… .429. 30…… 1.429.

Team………. Pitcher………………. ERA OOBA. PP.. Special Achievement
Carp……….. CC Sabathia………... 0.56. 0.69… 14….. 2 Wins
Ghost Riders Scott Baker…………. 0.64. 0.79… 13….. 2 Wins
HamFighters Mike Mussina………. 0.00. 0.82… 11….. 2 Wins

Oddly enough, the three nominees for POW on the batting side were all free agent acquisitions. But they pale in comparison to the Player of the Week, CC Sabathia, who carried the Brewers over the finish line on his back with two marvelous pitching performances.

Player of the Week on the Bench, I am ashamed to say, is the Ghost Riders’ own lamented Yuniesky Betancourt, who I benched in favor of Orlando Cabrera, whacking 14 hits while posting a .538 average with 40 OP and a 1.538 OA. If my math is right, that single choice cost me 2 PRP right there. Hindsight, hindsight, hindsight. Sigh. A game of inches indeed.


TRANSACTIONS:

Oh boy, here we go. I look forward to the Bo Sox’ explanation of what they were up to. It sure seemed to work.

September 26:
Ghost Riders acquire Derek Lowe releasing Rod Barajas.
Foxes acquire Garrett Atkins releasing Joe Crede

September 27:
Foxes acquire free agents Matt Kemp, Orlando Hudson, and Casey Blake releasing Brad Ziegler, Grant Balfour and Juan Uribe.
Bovine Socks acquire free agent Gary Sheffield releasing Willy Aybar

September 28:
Bovine Socks acquire free agents Dustin McGowan, Chris Ray, C.J. Wilson and Juan Rivera releasing Jesse Carlson, Matt Thornton, Melvin Mora and Ben Francisco,
Bovine Socks acquire free agent Akinori Iwamura releasing Jerry Blevins

September 29:
Bovine Socks acquire Travis Buck releasing Bobby Abreu.

And that’s that for 2008. Players released in this newsletter cannot be claimed on waivers or as free agents. You will have to wait until the auction next spring to get the players. On the other hand, you are now free to make trades till the roster protection deadline next March.

Announcements of all free agent and waiver acquisitions are subject to change if a late arriving letter or postcard is received from a team with a superior claim.

REMINDER ABOUT FREE AGENT CLAIMS: When claiming a free agent, you must specify whether the player being released is in the lineup or not. The status of the released player is the status on the day before the claim goes into effect, which means in most cases it is the status on the day you send the claim. If the released player is not in the lineup on the day you send the claim, you can just note NIL, which, of course, means not in lineup. If the released player is in your lineup on the day you send the claim, you must report who will replace that player in your lineup. I do not care if you already reported a sub to your “checker.” You must also report the sub in the free agent claim. If it makes it easier to understand, when you make the claim just forget that you have a “checker” for your lineup and pretend that all your substitutions are reported to the person receiving the player claim. Then, report the substitution in the free agent claim.


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